Strawberry Nutella Muffins

A while back, I found the blog Two Peas and Their Pod and went through all the recipes that were on their blog. They have a ton of good ones. You should definitely check them out sometime! I stumbled across these delicious Strawberry Nutella Muffins. I had to make them. I absolutely love strawberry and nutella, so why not combine the two and follow this delicious recipe?

I've made this twice for breakfast. Both times, I skipped the turbinado sugar. The first time, I had no idea what it was. The second time, I figured I didn't need it. According to TPaTP, it gives it some delicious crunch. My muffins tasted just fine without them! You may or may not want to put in a little more sugar to make up for lack of turbinado sugar, or just go and put the turbinado on. Either way, it's delicious!

I also found out my dough was still dry after the amount of milk put in, so I suggest eyeballing it to see if the dough looks dry. If it does, pour in a little more.

Strawberry Nutella Muffins

Makes 12 muffins

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 1 large egg
• 1/3 cup + 1 tablespoon milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup chopped fresh strawberries
• Nutella
• Turbinado sugar (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a muffin tin with paper cups or grease well.

2. In a medium bowl, mix the flour, salt, baking powder, and sugar. 

3. In a small bowl or glass measuring cup, combine the canola oil, egg, milk, and vanilla together. Whisk until well combined.

4. Combine the dry and wet mixtures in the medium bowl. Mix until just moist. Add in the strawberries, being careful not to mush any of them accidentally. 

5. Fill each muffin cup with a spoonful of batter. If it looks like it's lacking, put in a little more. Then add a tablespoon of Nutella on top of each mix. Use the remaining batter to cover up the nutella. (Optional step: Sprinkle each muffin with turbinado sugar.)

6. Bake muffin for 17-20 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Remove the muffins from the oven and let cool.

I didn't wait for them to cool. I bit right into them! They make an excellent breakfast, and could probably make an excellent dessert as well. I have to be making these again sometime soon!

I know, I know.

I'll get back to posting recipes and stuff on Monday. Enough musings from me. But grant me this last one for a while, please?

I hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving! I know I did, for the most part. There was the rare jab related to the election, but I ignored it successfully. My mom made the best turkey ever. Usually, the white meat on turkey is really dry, but my mom made it perfectly. The meat was tender and juicy. So great. I had a ton of stuffing. Ever since I was a kid, that's been my favorite dish. The best thing to do the day after Thanksgiving? Turkey sandwich. I had one with stuffing and mayonnaise. Food heaven. Leftovers are the best. I'm a little sad I won't be here much longer to chow down on more delicious leftovers.

Today, Nate came over and we got to spend the day together. He may have won more battles in Super Smash Bros Brawl, but I killed more people. So we both won! I'm apparently really good at getting kills in Brawl... I was winning up until Ricky became Ike and whooped everyone. His best character is Ike. No one stood a chance, really.

It was like a mini-Christmas! I gave Nate his early Christmas present, a hand-made blanket from a Loops and Threads yarn label. I've been using it since it was finished, and it's kept me warm fairly well. Now he has it, and I gave it to him knowing it would keep him warm like it kept me warm. That's a comfort of mine. Knowing that something I made is keeping him warm when I can't. That's funny for me to say, because I'm the one who gets cold easily. Not him. Usually, he's too hot.

The blanket. I sat on my (lofted) bed to take this picture.

Towards the end of the visit, my dad made this offhanded comment. He meant nothing by it, but with the track record I've had with him recently, it crushed me almost immediately. It kicked the "why can't I do anything right?" train into motion. I stopped responding to Nate's comments and just started at his phone. I'm used to the feeling of worthlessness, but I've never shown it around someone else, let alone someone as important as Nate. He's seen this, but it's over Skype, and never in person. It's easier to fake a better emotion if it's not in person. But I couldn't fake being happy in person. 

Nate sat and held me and told me my dad didn't mean it. He pointed out all I've ever done is try to please my parents and I needed to take a break. He just held me and made sure I was okay. The exact same thing happened when he left. He held me and told me he wouldn't leave until I felt better. He said all these things, and I've come to this realization again. I've had it so many times, and it makes me feel better every time. 

I can stand on my own two feet. It's something I've been able to do for the longest time because I ended up not trusting people. Whenever I had a breakdown, it was always behind closed doors, and I took the time to compose myself so that no would could tell I had lost it just a few minutes before. I have to appear strong, I thought. I didn't want to- heck, I still don't want to- be seen as weak. So whenever I suffered breakdown because of stress or emotions or something, I never shared it with anyone. That was my pain and mine alone. I didn't want to burden anyone. I'm so used to being everyone else's shoulder to cry on that I thought I couldn't let anyone see how I felt, because that would make everyone not come to me or not trust me or something like that.

However, with Nate, I found someone that I can confide my fears and sorrows and joys to and not feel worried about losing them. He lets me know he'll always be there, and I am so grateful that he's in my life. The way I acted earlier- being downtrodden- should have, by all means, given him a reason to say, "You know what? Cheer up and stop being mopey. You're an adult, for God's sake." But Nate stayed and made sure I was okay. There's nothing better than knowing that someone will be there for you, through thick and thin, to make sure you get a smile back on your face. That someone, for me, is Nate.

Going home for Thanksgiving

I'm currently sitting in the SLC airport, doing homework. I'm really excited to go home. I miss my mom and my brothers. My dad is kind of giving up a mix of emotions. I don't know how to feel... Nate's offered to let me go to his house for Thanksgiving if my dad brings up too many election things. It doesn't help my dad's friends (who certainly do not approve of who I voted for) will be there. Oh, well.

Anyway! Thanksgiving! It'll be a nice holiday where I get to spend time with my family and my dogs. I get to make pineapple upside-down cake for dessert tomorrow. Maybe I'll post a picture after I'm done!

Everyone enjoy your Thanksgiving!

Volunteer service

Today, I did two unrelated volunteer services in the span of six hours. I was completely exhausted, then felt energized, and now I'm slowly mellowing. I like doing volunteer service. It makes me feel good and I love seeing happiness on other people's faces. 

I taught my student some things about Congress today. I'm going to admit, throughout the lesson, I felt like she was growing frustrated or couldn't concentrate. I don't blame her. I was feeling anxious and restless the whole lesson. Time didn't seem to be moving fast enough and I went through all my activities, including the back-up. I even had the thought, "Why am I doing this? I'm insane! I can't teach anyone anything. What made me think I could teach someone what's on the citizenship test? She's going to fail and it'll be because of me." And it was only the second class! I had a rough time convincing myself I'm going to get experience with this and I'll get better. 

That whole 'law of attraction' thing doesn't work with me. I've got the opposite effect. When I think I've done something really well, I do horribly instead. I've got a track record with this. So instead of trying to convince myself to be positive, I'll take things slowly and get my satisfaction after everything's done.

My second volunteer thing is a program called U-FIT. The past couple of weeks, my kid was hit with a serious mommy phase. He would started crying (often as early as 15 minutes into the program...) and I'd have to sit with him as he felt bad. But today? Today I saw the kid I met the first day of the program. He was giggling and smiling and talked about all the nonsense three year olds like to talk about. How milk made his bones stronger and water made his muscles stronger. He kept telling me, "If you drink more milk, you'll have bones like daddy!" It was so precious. I loved every second of it. I missed this kind of silly attitude. I needed it, honestly. College has been stressing me out terribly as of late, and in the span of 2 hours, this three year old made me forget I have massive projects and papers to do. 

I missed the free pizza the U-FIT crew was giving out (boooooo), but I got a free shirt because I showed dedication and commitment. When I got that shirt, it didn't mean anything. But when I got home and looked at it properly, I grinned uncontrollably and got this little spring in my step. This shirt means something to me. I made a child happy and I gave his parents a little help in dealing with a three year old and a five year old with Asperger's. 

I think the reason I like volunteer service so much is seeing the happiness and smiles on the faces of those I've helped. That's enough of a reward. Sure, it's hard at first, but it'll get easier. I'll get into the grove of things, and those smiles will reward me. It's the best thing I can ask for, honestly.

This kind of mindset is really unhealthy

Since middle school, my dad has always wanted me to get straight A's. For one reason or another, there's always been one class that prevents me from getting it. In 6th and 7th grade, I got a B one semester, but it did nothing to affect the year's straight A's. In high school, it was math. Every single year. I'm not a hard science kind of person and I accepted this in high school. 

But my dad didn't. He always asked me why I didn't get straight A's. Did I go to the teacher? Did I study enough? It must be your computer, he said, that's why you're failing. Note: to my dad, 'failing' is a C. Possibly a B, depending on the other class grades. He always, always wanted me to get straight A's and would compare me to my younger brothers (the youngest was in elementary and middle school throughout my high school career). How come I couldn't get straight A's like them? It was such a stupid thing for him to do. Compare me to my brothers who were in middle school? Middle school classes are so different from high school classes.

My dad didn't understand why I didn't do well in math. He told me to study harder. ask my teachers for help. There's a problem when the teacher wants you to know what you're asking help for. As a result, I never, ever asked my math teachers (the two I had in three years) for help. They always wanted me to know the concept I was asking for clarification about. My dad didn't get me math help until the end of third quarter. That wasn't enough time to fix my grade, and so it remained at a B. Or was it a C? I don't remember. In my mind, they were equally bad. I wasn't doing well enough to show my dad I was an outstanding individual. I acted like getting one 'failing' grade out of eight wasn't bad. In my mind, though, that 'failing' C or B meant fewer scholarships. I could get into a good college, sure. My GPA was still high enough for that. But my GPA wasn't high enough for scholarships. I would be 'average.' I wasn't good enough- again. 

So when I got the scholarship for full tuition, I was proud of myself. Partially because I, for once, got a high enough GPA for something. My dad, too, was thrilled. But then the thoughts came back again. I only got this scholarship because someone else must've withdrawn. I got lucky. That was coming from just me. Then he talked about it with other people. He always said we were blessed and he thanked God, and most of the people he talked to said, "God is blessing you, Jess."

God? Not me? One of the proudest moments of my life was credited to someone that wasn't me? I was crushed. I knew they meant well, but it crushed me. My hard work meant nothing.

Fast forward to college. Here I am, trying to write a paper worth 25% of my grade, and I'm feeling like crap.  This essay won't be organized, it won't make sense. That old mindset from high school is back. My GPA is me. If my grade plummets because I screwed  up this essay, my GPA plummets. I failed again. My GPA is me and it defines me. It's all I have to make me stand out, and it's pitiful. I'm terrified of a bad GPA because if it's .2 points near a 4.0, I think I'm failing at everything. I'm letting everyone down. I won't be anything. 

I am fully aware that a GPA does not mean anything in the real world. We did good in school, yes. Now can we do well in the real world where a GPA doesn't matter? The problem is everyone puts such an unhealthy emphasis on GPA when it means nothing in the real world. I'm fully aware of this, yet I'm still in the mindset my dad put me into when I was in middle school. If I don't have a good GPA, I can't accomplish anything. It's so hard to break out of, and I'm scared of remaining with this 'everything must be perfect' mindset until I graduate. I'll break down, I'm almost sure of it. I'm breaking down now. What do I do? That GPA means everything at this point. I don't want to get a B or C again. I'll fail.

Cake Pops!

Yesterday was Mariko's birthday, and I decided to give cake pops a try. After some extensive research, I decided I knew what to do.

I was so, so wrong.

One out of every three cake pops fell apart. I burned the chocolate in the microwave (I think the microwave is having an identity crisis). And there was just too much cake mix for me to make everything into cake pops.

These came out pretty, though.

I've decided I'm never doing cake pops again unless I've got help, a double boiler, or one of those cake pop makers. I'm admitting defeat with that last admission. I really want to make cake pops by hand, but this just takes too long and it's too messy. It irritated me towards the end. There were four boxes of cake mix Mariko picked out and I only made one and a half. The rest became pre-cake pop cake that I've invited people to eat. Everyone loves those, which is great.

And the cake pops (that came out well) taste good. A friend of Susanna's said they were the best cake pops she's ever had. Surprising, considering I had no idea what I was doing. Still, I'm glad some people like my cake pops. I may try again when I have considerably more patience (and less cake mix). 

Pasta with Homemade Tomato Sauce

Today was such a good day! I didn't have to go to class today, so I sat home until I had to go meet my student for tutoring. Did I mention it snowed today? So I got to spend the majority of my time sitting in the snow and freezing my butt off. Once I got back to the dorm, I ended up sitting in the room refusing to move. I made myself some egg drop soup. It ended up tasting pretty bland, so I had to pour more soy sauce in it. Time to make some changes to that recipe...

A little while ago, I made some pasta using this recipe. I made some changes to it. I had my own tomato sauce hanging around, and I added mushrooms. That's pretty much all of the changes. My sauce had cinnamon, basil, and  in it, so it's tastes much different that using, say, Ragu. Maybe I'll post that sauce recipe up sometime. It was something I did on the fly.

Pasta with Homemade Tomato Sauce

Ingredients

• 1 (16 ounce) package bowtie pasta 
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1/4 large yellow onion, chopped
• 1/2 green bell pepper, chopped
• 1 pound ground pork
• 2 cups homemade sauce OR 1 (16 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce
• 1 cup sour cream
• 2 mushrooms

Directions

1. Chop green pepper and onions and slice mushrooms. Place into a small bowl.

2. Bring a large pot of hot, lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook until done al dente; drain and set aside. 

3. Melt better in a large skillet over medium heat. Saute onion, bell pepper, and mushrooms until onions and bell peppers are soft, about 5-6 minutes. Add ground pork and cook until evenly brown. Drain excess fat. 

4. In a large pot, heat spaghetti sauce until bubbling. Stir in pork mixture, pasta, and sour cream. Cook until heated through, about 5 minutes. 

Just a warning, if you don't use a large enough pot, pouring everything in will be messy. That silver pot I used wasn't large enough to accommodate everything, and some of it spilled out. Enjoy your pasta!