Worrying about classes

I hate coming across a class where things aren't laid out clearly. Unfortunately, it seems like I am taking two such classes. One is my nutrition class, and one is my syntax class.

With the nutrition class, the study guides for exams don't make sense. Something listed in lesson 3 should be found in lesson 3, right? Nope. I emailed the teacher, asking where it was, and she said "Look at lesson 1!"

...Lesson ONE? Did I suddenly not learn to count? And this is the whole study guide, mind you. Things listed under lesson 1 are actually under lesson 2, lesson 2 is all over, lesson 3 is in lesson 1... I miss having a physical book to study from. I bought it online (don't know why...) and I should've just bought a loose-leaf copy or something. Because I'm a visual learner. I need to see the words on the page. I also need to be able to turn the page. I can remember where certain information is based on where it is located on the page and generally how far in it is. I can't do that with online texts. When I'm reading online, I zone out. Badly. And I remember nothing.

My syntax class is all over. I got a 75% on my first quiz because I either couldn't find it in the book, couldn't remember it being talked about in class, or one thing was said in class and another in the book so I didn't know which to pick. It also doesn't help I can't take notes the way I'd like to in class because there ARE no notes. The teacher doesn't give us any. Just talks. And talks. And talks. Once again, I need to see the words and in this case, write them down. I learn better through writing things once or twice to help cement base knowledge. This means that when I read from the textbook, I've got to actually be writing down important information because I won't get it otherwise. And the problem is, I don't know what's important to that class so I end up writing everything.

I hope I pass these classes. I'm a bit of an overacheiver- I strive for all A's. But right now, for those two classes, I'll settle for a B. Just the middle range. I really just want to do well.

It will be a busy weekend

HELLO HELLO EVERYBODY. I'm going to quickly update you on how crazy my weekend is going to be before I head to bed!

So, what's happening tomorrow is I get to wake up early (7-ish) and get ready for my day. Then I get to go bouldering at the brand new facility with a friend, and then I work shortly after! And then we've got to move the bulkhead... I hate moving it. It takes so much time. But then after, I get to relax. Play some video games. Be a little productive. You know, those things. And on Sunday, I wake up at 8-ish, then work as a manager until 4, and then quickly do laundry, talk to the wonderful Nate, and make myself some food. And prepare food for Monday because I'm going to see if I can get Monday-Thursday to be my "early days" (Monday is a bit of an ease-in for Tuesday-Thursday).

I can't wait until next weekend. I can sleep in more.... I'm so tired and I just want to curl up in bed with absolutely nothing to do but play video games. Unfortunately that's not going to happen anytime soon!

Busy Monday Nights

When I get home from my friend's house and food shopping, I'm going to be busy preparing for my Tuesday. I can't wait for my Tuesdays to calm down, which they will... after tomorrow. But tomorrow I've got to prepare breakfast for when I wake up really early in the morning, and then prepare 2 snacks and lunch because I've got classes and then a doctor's appointment all the way up until about 2 or so, and I won't have any time to relax. After tomorrow, I don't have to prepare the lunches anymore. But still. Busy! And that's not counting any homework I get assigned tomorrow and working out for an hour.

Sometimes I wish I weren't so busy, but then I'd be bored. I'd probably be less stressed though.

Speaking of stress, I have to work on my thesis when I get home, too...

Exercise

So I've been going to the gym every day this week (except for Monday- my break days) and so far it's been a bit stressful simply because of the fact that I've been busy almost every day this week so I don't have time to do homework. I should definitely be prioritizing homework, but I'm waiting on another textbook to get here so I can start on a group project due in about 3 weeks and all that. I'm glad for my no-class Fridays and doing absolutely nothing most Saturdays and Sunday days. I'm waiting eagerly for the first two weeks of school to be over because then I don't have to work all day on Sunday the 24th or Wednesdays anymore! So I can go work out any time during the day on Wednesdays and do homework Wednesday afternoons too! I'm very excited for living back on campus though. I can do a lot of stuff now. Which is great.

Busy week

I don't have time for a long post now, but the first two weeks are going to be busy. So for now, expect long-ish posts on Mondays and Fridays to make up for my lack of Wednesday postings. I want my schedule to go to normal.

First Day of Classes

Everything is going splendidly. Kind of. I'm trying to access one of my online classes and the class list isn't loading in my Canvas. So I either need to do that after work and class, or I need to call someone and say, "Hey, my classes aren't loading and I need to see my homework for my nutrition class. Thaaaaaanks."

Maybe I need to give it a break. This gives me 40 minutes to screw around until I need to go to work. So I'll spend some of that time eating, some of that time blogging (here I am!) and some of that time getting ready for the first day at my new job at the new building. It's going to be a learning experience.

My only class today is 3 hours long. I love the teacher, but I'm curious to know how I'm going to survive a 3 hour long class. The last time I took one, I was bored I stopped paying attention and played around on my computer. No such luck with this class because the teacher doesn't like people having laptops or cellphones out. Soooo we'll see. I may bring my notebook so I can work on my story if I get too bored. Or I'll doodle in the margins of my notes. Either way, I know my attention is going to wander until I bring in some knitting/crocheting stuff. That usually helps me focus.

New Year, New Job, New Start

Hello, everyone! Sorry about not writing. I got slammed with school, depression and doctors appointments, job, and moving out of my apartment to move back onto my college campus.

It's 2015 and I'm determined to make it a new beginning for me. I've been around some toxic people (which kind of triggered this recent down for depression). I'm determined to stop interacting with the toxic people unless absolutely necessary and to hang out more with the people I consider my friends. Luckily, two live on campus, one lives off-campus but I'm planning on going to use her house more often, and two more live closer to campus but not on campus. Those are the five I feel close to. There are some people who aren't as close but I feel better around them than with the toxic people.

Now why did I say "unless absolutely necessary" instead of keeping it at nothing? The reason is that a majority of these toxic people are at my job. I love this job a lot. Or used to, anyway. Recently, I've been feeling left out of work functions. Everyone gets along but me. And that may be because one of the toxic people in my life is the assistant manager at my job. Everyone is friends with this person. And let me tell you the majority of the people at my job love to gossip. I feel like the assistant manager and these people have been talking about me behind my back. Today, at job training, I found out that at some point everyone planned to go to the pizza place near school. I heard them talking about it, but no one asked me to go or if I had heard about it, and I asked no one because I learned a long time ago not to ask people about invitations because unless I am explicitly invited, I assume my presence is unwanted. I keep trying to reason it out as "no, I was at training for my other new job and they probably planned it while I was at that training. They probably just assumed that I knew I was invited and I assumed I wasn't invited and that's why I didn't go." But at the same time, this tiny voice keeps saying, "No one likes you, that's why they didn't invite you. If they wanted you there, someone would've asked you before everyone left if you were going or texted you and asked you why you weren't there with them." And I want to disprove that voice so badly but I am not on the best terms with these toxic people. The thought popped into my head in the past day or two to maybe quit this job if it doesn't get better. If I continue to feel left out and alone, I need to either take a long break from this job or quit completely. And I don't want to quit, but it may be best for me.

I've got a new job at the same facility as my first job, and this time it's as a facility manager for the building. I'm very excited for it. I get to be very hands-on and get leadership experience and experience managing a large exercise facility. I'm very excited for this facility, not only as an employee, but as a guest. It is brand-new and beautiful. I used it today (employees got to use it first!) and I'm in love with it. I'm excited to do my new exercise thing of weights and swimming and biking and maybe a Latin dance or ballroom class. If I can gain more muscle, I would be grateful. I'm not going to push for it, but if it happens along the way, I'll be happy. But I'm so excited for this new job of mine. The only problem I'll have is not being able to eat during my shifts. My metabolism is kind of fast and I eat smaller meals, so I need to eat relatively frequently. We'll see what happens.

I'm going to create a paper with my resolutions (only two right now) and the reward I'll get for doing those resolutions. They are small and manageable. The first is to write a page a day of a story I'm working on and would like to publish eventually. The second is to stick to my workout schedule. I'm willing to be flexible for that because life happens. I may get sick, my depression may hit again, etc. I just need to roll with it and work with it.

Second-hand excitement

There are quite a few games being released on November, and I've got second-hand excitement for at least three- Dragon Age Inquisition, Pokemon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire, and Smash Bros for the Wii U. Now, I can't get Smash Bros due to a lack of the Wii U. But I'm still excited because that means I can go to my friend's house and play it. Although that excitement tends to be dampened by the fact I actually get beat very badly against anyone other than AIs.

But the Pokemon games, I became excited for once I realized I could switch the language for the game. I have a thing about playing Pokemon in Japanese. Now I want it so I can play it. It's also for nostalgia's sake- I loved Pokemon Ruby. Guess which one I'm getting?

And finally, Dragon Age. That one is slightly more my excitement than my friends' excitement rubbing off on me, but I'm not getting it for a while because I still need to beat Dragon Age: Origins and start and beat Dragon Age 2. I like to play games in order. However, it should be really fun! It looks amazing.

Things I am not looking forward to when I turn 21

I'm not going to turn 21 for another 5-6 months. But let me tell you, I am not looking forward to it. I bring this up is because on Halloween, I was working when a regular patron came in. He asked what I planned on doing that night, and when I replied, "Oh, just playing horror video games with friends," he asks, "What, no drinking?" Which then led to the 'none of us are 21' discussion.

Thankfully, this patron didn't ask why we didn't drink. Although he did ask me if it was because I was Mormon. I said no, I'm not Mormon. And he goes "oh okay" and accepts it. But then he says, "Next year we'll see what you can do."

And I spent the next 10 minutes of my guarding shift wondering why there's a pressure to drink socially. Maybe it's a Utah thing, and I'm going to write the rest of this operating under the assumption that it is an exclusively Utah thing. If it isn't, let me know. I'm always curious to know what others think.

My workplace tends to have parties at one worker's house because it's easy, his roommates are cool with it, etc. Before that it was at another. I never touched a drink because I was DD and decided it'd be best for me to get a sugar rush on soda instead. It never actually worked, to be honest. But when I decline going to work parties now, the number one question asked is "Why not?"

Why not? Why not? Other than the fact that I'm not a huge fan of parties (which I then get crap for, but that's another story), it's because I don't want to drink, and work parties aren't fun if you aren't drinking. Plus, I didn't want to drink and then be unable to figure out how to get home (since I have no DD myself because of the fact everyone I know loves to drink). When I say that I don't want to tailgate with alcohol and will actively work towards finding a tailgate situation with friends who understand I don't drink, I get weird looks. Like, "why aren't you drinking?"

I get this feeling it's a thing with Utah where drinking is one of the key ways to separate non-Mormons from Mormons, and loose Mormons from strict Mormons. The Church seems to have a slight stigma that I can't put down into words. It's like it's bad if you're a strict Mormon. You got shit-talked behind your back, and for non-Mormons, get asked if you're Mormon like you've just sprouted a tail. Like being a Mormon means that your relationship with this person is going to be forever and irreparably marred because of your religion.

I get this feeling that my so-called "friends" in SLC are going to disregard the fact that I'm not going to want to go to a bar when I turn 21. Or, if they heed it, they'll look at me like I'm strange and unnatural. But I don't see the whole big deal of drinking myself stupid when I turn 21. I may not even drink at all for my actual birthday. Probably celebrate it a month later with my family because that's important to us. I'm very glad I won't be in SLC when it's my birthday. I just want to spend a nice day with friends who actually acknowledge my wishes and are cool with it. I don't want my 21st birthday to be seen as a way to rebel against the mainstream where I live.

The knitter/crocheter struggle

AKA the projects have gotten too big to be portable.

It's sad. My mom's shawl is officially too big to be carried around with me to school (I need that space for school stuff...) and I can't carry the scarf (too big as well) or the hat (too complicated/reliant on pattern). It's not necessarily a bad thing, though. That means I can work on writing stuff. Although the knitting was nice. I could still pay attention to class. With writing, not so much.

Transition

By the end of the year/beginning of the next, I'll be back in the dorms. The sad thing is, I'm excited about that. I hate feeling like a burden, like I'm not wanted, and that's precisely what I feel like in my current situation. I'm trying to find small ways to reclaim my independence, but it's hard. At least in the dorms, I know I can have independence. My friends are close enough, and it'll be nice to hang out with them again.

The only thing is, I have to move so much stuff, and I don't want to. This means I'm going to have to downsize considerably. Which means my yarn stash either needs to go home to Vegas until I need it, or cram it all into two boxes (haha, that's not happening), or figure out how to stashbust. A lot. I can think of some ways, but there are no guarantees that I'll be able to do it fast enough. And then there's the matter of clothes. I'm in the weird phase where I want to dress up nicely all the time, but I know once it becomes mid-summer or mid-winter, I'll want to dress up comfortably. However, I know there are things I don't wear all that often, and that's the stuff I'm going to have to give away. I have a problem with donating clothes, though. Why? Because people spent money for me to get that stuff, or I spent money to get that stuff, and I didn't even wear it that often. It seems like a waste. That's something I have to get over. Like there's this one jacket I own that goes to about my knees, or slightly longer. I don't remember who got it for me. All I know is that I don't wear it anymore. Maybe because I can't figure out how to layer it in SLC weather, but I don't. That's a thing I need to get rid of, and I don't know if I can get over the little voice saying "don't give it away, that's a waste." Same goes for anything that was a present to me. I can't bring myself to give it away but I need to because it takes up space. I also have to either put books in storage or do something with them because I don't want to give them away. I love my books too much but I can't carry them with me everywhere.

But I want to go back to the dorms. I'm tired of feeling unwanted, of feeling like I'm in the way, of feeling like I am nothing but a huge nuisance to everyone around me. At least in the dorms I can isolate myself of my own volition. That's a huge difference.

I had an idea in the midst of a panic attack the other day that I later chalked down to being ridiculous, I was just overreacting, but it sounded so good at the time. And that was to quit my job and live with a friend in her house. But I can't do that, because I'll be even further away from the friends who actually care about me. Or the majority of them. The friend whose house I'd be living in is one of those friends. So instead I settled for "I'm going to visit her house every weekend until I move back into the dorms" and then I'll figure out my schedule then. Because I'm going to be honest, it's much better to be surrounded by people you don't see that often but who still love you vs people you see that often and don't (especially if those people call you their best friend!).

Because no best friend or even a regular friend should make me feel like shit. Because no friend should ever not communicate and then get upset when I get upset over not being told. No friend should ever, never tell other people your secrets, and while this hasn't happened to me yet, my "friends" can be notorious gossips. I told you and you alone. There's no need to go tell other people.

I need to shed the toxic friendships out of my life, and I'm doing that during the New Years. I'm done with you people.

That number on a scale

This has been a thing that's bothered me for a while. It's partially spurred by someone I know. This person is obsessed with making that number on the scale go down. She goes running, because "it's a good way to lose weight!" Yet when she complains about not being able to go running (which is a lot, and usually the reason is the weather "Oh, I don't want to go running when it's hot"), and I suggest that she do some weight lifting, she gives me a look of disgust and goes, "I want to lose weight, not gain it." Like I told her to become fat. That's not the case.

What is the stigma against girls having muscle? When did society become so obsessed with a scale? It makes me frustrated that people look at me funny when I go do weights. It frustrates me that girls are in a race to see who can lose the most weight and be skinny and good-looking. There's a stigma against being big- fat, muscular, anything that's not in the magazines- that girls will criticize other girls who aren't trying to actively become or remain small.

A few totally awesome WIPs

(And one FO that I never got a good picture of outside of my brother's graduation)

This is the Elder Tree Shawl that I'm making for my mom as a Christmas present. This will be the easier of the two, I think, but longer because of the lace. I'm in love with the design. 

This awesome Hyrule Warriors Scarf is for Nate, as a birthday/Christmas present. Haven't decided which one yet. He's a huge Legend of Zelda fan and he's super excited for the game's release. I'm less excited but still excited because Legend of Zelda! It's become a favorite thing of mine recently (OoT is still escaping my ability to play. though...)

This is the White Russian Skirt. I had some leftover green cotton yarn from a dress I made my mom and decided to try and make this. Unfortunately, the leftover was not enough to make a decent length skirt. Underneath this I'm wearing dance shorts, and obviously you can see the shorts still. I'm trying not to buy any more yarn until I use up what I already have- and that's a lot.

I wanted something to wear to my brother's high school graduation. I needed something that'd go with a red dress, and when I asked for opinions, I got navy blue as an answer most frequently. So, using red heart yarn, I made this. The yarn was super scratchy but it somehow softened up after a few months in my closest. Unfortunately, it wasn't soon enough. It was still a bit scratchy after trying to fix it a few times before the graduation. 

Feelings- might get personal

I've been yo-yo-ing between being really busy with classes and being bored with classes. I guess that's the benefit of taking online classes- you can catch up with all the work and then having nothing to do until the next module opens, and then when you catch up on all your physical class work as a result, it leaves you with nothing. For me, that's a double-edged sword. I actually am one of the rare people who like to be kept busy- whether it's with cooking, or homework, or something, I like having something to do. If it's people related it needs to be done less frequently, but it's still doing something. Boredom makes me think several things, including

1. I'm missing something in my homework/life
2. I finished all my homework fast which means it was either too easy or I screwed up somewhere
3. It makes me extremely restless which makes me more susceptible to darker thoughts
4. Darker thoughts.

Among other things. It's number 3 and 4 that get me. Because I've had low self-esteem issues for my whole life, I've taken to heart slightly toxic things as a child, and started having more mental problems in college. Although I've been working to get over it, and I've had some friends who've supported me, I still fall prey to thoughts of worthlessness and loneliness and sadness. 

And today, there was an event that made me feel absolutely unwanted. A burden. The feeling is unjustified, I'm sure, but when I've had these problems for so long, it's almost too easy to fall into the same rut again. I realized that some people may actually view me as a burden, holding back their lives, despite previous promises from their mouths that they'd help me in certain aspects. That I'm unwanted because of this. That I have no friends (this is absolutely false but in this certain environment it feels like it) who'd be there for me if I needed it. That no one needs me. And as someone who feels like all she's good for as a friend is to be there and listen and be needed, the feeling of not being needed sucks. 

So I'm sitting here rambling trying to sort my feelings out and hoping that writing keeps the demons away for a bit longer. 

Comic Con

"But Jess!" you say, looking at the title, "Comic Con was a few months ago!"

I know it was! I went to the one in Salt Lake, not San Diego. Cheaper and closer. Win-win situation. Except maybe not in SDCC's eyes.

But here's what happened on the three days I got to experience a Comic Con. Basically, it reminded me of an anime convention, but instead of just anime, there were more cosplays and booths and such related to comics, books, games, and so on. Basically the little girl in me was like "OH MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THESE BOOKS" and the adult girl in me was like "OH MY GOD LOOK AT ALL THESE BOOKS AND GAMES."

But that was when we got in.

Getting in was a problem on Thursday. There seemed to be a lot of miscommunication going on. Volunteers didn't seem to know what line was what, and everyone in line was either angry, confused, or both. Angry confused people are not fun. Basically what it boiled down to was the line I wanted in for approximately 3-4 hours was for gold/vip members, and any general admission people who had waited in that line had to leave and go to ANOTHER line and wait LONGER. Luckily I wanted in the right line. But then, once Nate and I got in, we waited ANOTHER 1-2 hours because we chose the line where every once in a while, one of the two people helping had to turn and help the handicapped. The line moved infinitely slow because of that, while the line directly to my left moved fast. It didn't help there were two "VIP registrations" and two general "VIP" signs. I don't think there was a difference, in hindsight. On Thursday, I missed EVERYONE I wanted to see because of that line. I couldn't see Cary Elwes, Johnny Yong Bosch, or Jason David Frank. I got a three day pass and in actuality only really spend 2 and a half days because of having to wait in line. I got lucky, though. Some people didn't even get tickets.

Friday, though, was fun! I got a new shirt with Charmander Shepard. My second favorite Pokemon combined with my favorite game character. I also bought 6 patches to put on hats and scarves. I'm so excited for those!

Zelda, Portal, Mass Effect, Firefly, and Pacific Rim

I saw Vic Mignogna (whose name I surprisingly spelled right the first time), and he was just a joy to watch. He's probably my favorite American male voice actor, and I love his upbeat attitude. I really needed to hear some of the things he said. I saw him already at an anime convention in Vegas, but this just made me happier because he was in a different setting and got different (and in my opinion, cooler) questions. I also got to chill with my friends David and Christian for a bit. I dressed up as Syfy channel's Hatter, but a female version, not the Andrew Lee Potts version.

Then Saturday everything started off kind of awfully. Nate got food poisoning from the dinner he made the day before- oh no! I had to go to a work meeting, so I basically fretted beforehand and told him if absolutely ANYTHING changed he needed to let me know. I can't do sick people. But he got better after my meeting. Don't let anyone tell you naps are useless. He took a 15 minute nap and felt infinitely better afterwards. So we went a little later than we could've, but that's fine. He was okay! We walked around the floor for a bit after checking out the line to see John Barrowman. Then we went back into line and oh my god was that line long. When Nate and I were at the front, waiting to get in, we talked quickly and decided that since two chairs next to each other weren't likely not going to happen, the next time a single seat open up, I'd go, then he'd go. we'd be separated, but we'd see John Barrowman.

I love the man, let me tell you. He is funny and witty and handsome and intelligent and all sorts of things. I'm so glad I got to see him in person at least once. I am likely not going to forget the story of the girl who tried to start a Gay-Straight Alliance at her school and asked John Barrowman for help, and he told her make it peaceful. And even though the girl had graduated, she said that a GSA had been made, thanks to some help from John Barrowman. He also responded with wit to a girl saying that Stephen Amell (the panelist before him and the main star of the show Arrow) said his knees still hurt. John Barrowman goes "well maybe he shouldn't have been on them that long," which sent the entire hall into laughter. The true story, he then explained, was that in a scene in season 1, when the Dark Archer is beating the crap out of Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell), he's supposed to kick him through a wall and then kick the crap out of him. JB is wearing steel-capped boots.

You know where this is going. 

While wearing those boots, he kicks SA through the wall and starts kicking him. He kicks so hard at SA's knees that he actually hurt him. And JB felt so bad afterwards. 

But Saturday, for the awful start it had (for Nate), turned out to be fun. I really enjoyed it, and I enjoyed hanging out with Nate and David and just wandering the halls and attending panels. I do admit, watching the pilot episode of Z Nation (Syfy's newest series) made me realize exactly how big of a nerd I am for planning out my zombie apocalypse plan. The zombie apocalypse isn't going to happen for several reasons (to see most of them summed up, go watch Neil deGrasse Tyson "The Killjoy of Science"). I criticized Z Nation not for the stereotypes it plays into, but for the unrealistic zombies. Unrealistic zombies. Zombies aren't even real, Jess. They may not be, but they can follow certain rules and Z Nation did NONE OF THEM.

And unfortunately I'm back into school. Oh no. Busy school.

Food Cravings

You know, for me, it's kind of hard not eating meat. Not because I miss the taste. That's a bit far from the truth. I do miss meat on occasion. And usually only when it comes to Japanese food. Nah, that's not the craving I'm talking about.

I had an intense craving for enchiladas. With salsa. And tomatoes. And all of the good stuff. And I can't make fish enchiladas because fish is expensive when you're not near the sea. So I found a lovely recipe for black bean enchiladas that I'll be making soon because why not? My food menu the next couple of weeks is likely going to be all over the place. There's Japanese food- soba, tuna rolls, omelet rice- as well as Mexican- enchiladas- and assorted side dishes- steamed broccoli, corn on the cob, sweet potato fries. And breakfast is all about the English muffins and making what I call a banana roll-up because I can't remember the proper name. Basically it's melt chocolate chips in almond butter with a bit of milk in it, spread it on a tortilla, stick a banana in it, and then roll it up and eat it. It's a good way to use the tortillas currently sitting in the freezer. And my almond butter.

Craft update

So I FINALLY finished my dad's blanket. Probably two weeks ago. And he LOVED it. Which made me really happy because I busted my butt for that to look good.

I also finished the pretty daisy skirt! It looks so cute! 

I had no one to help me so it looks badly taken.  Sorry. :(

Almost time to return to Utah

I don't know if I'm excited to go back and start school and see my friends again or if I'm really nervous about school. I'm taking 6 classes + 1 non-credit krav maga class, but 2 of those classes are online, so maybe it won't be that bad? Then there's my club(s?) and potential research. And I don't think work will be that bad... yet. I mean, I can still do my homework and stuff at the pool, and I refuse to work nights, so we should be good on that front, too. I should probably get my bike's flat tire. That way, if my roommate ends up having to return later than me, I can take my bike back. It's faster than the train. That'll only work when there's no snow, though. I'll figure that out when it comes to it. Not sure about the mornings. Maybe the train will be the best bet for that.

I'm figuring out a planner that'll work best for me, so I don't have to deal with store-bought planners that don't have everything I need. I tend to be a bit compulsive when it comes to organizing my life, especially when it gets crazy busy. The notes section in that planner will become quite handy once I decide to start thinking about ideas for the store I want to start. Don't know how well that'll go...

Some Japan photos

Here's some photos I took while in Japan. I brought my really nice camera with me, and a lot of them came out great! I love photography and I especially love taking photos of my favorite country in the world. So much beauty and history and culture all rolled in one place.

Kaminari-mon in Asakusa, Japan

The view out of Tokyo Skytree. I had to take this picture without looking because I hate heights and I was freaking out.

Enma located at Meiji Jingu in Shibuya, Tokyo.

Art installment at the 21st Century Museum in Kanazawa.

Duck near the old stepping bridge in Kenroku-en, located in Kanazawa.

Kotoji-toro at Kenroku-en. This garden is a place I would not mind being proposed to in, I'm so in love with the beauty. I'm 100% positive I'd be too embarrassed though. Because I'm not a public person.

Bee in a flower at Gokayama.

BUTTERFLIES!

Just so you know, that sign near the giraffe? It says "Please don't feed the giraffe the leaves from the bushes! Their stomachs will break." (I'm translating as best as I can) What is that giraffe doing? ...Eating the leaves from the bushes. My friend said to me, "Won't that upset his stomach?" And I was like, "Dude... It said we can't feed them. It never said it can't feed itself."

"GET OFF GEORGE."

"I WANT MY TOY BACK BOBBY."

I tried my hand at sewing...

It didn't turn out half so bad, considering I've never sewn anything with a machine before in my life.

I found a simple skirt tutorial here and thought, hey, you know what? I want to do this because I bet I can find cute fabrics to make into skirts. Usually I don't wear skirts because I don't like the pattern. So I went to JoAnns the next day (they were having a fabric sale) and bought two yard and a half things of fabric. Day after that, I started making the skirts.

Let me tell you about the daisy skirt, as I nicknamed it.

Isn't it pretty?

The daisy skirt has a pretty flower all over it. And I fell in love fast. I decided this one would be my first one, because the other fabric was plaid and I'm partial to plaid and that way, if I screwed up on the daisy skirt, I'd be able to fix it for the plaid one. I did everything right initially. Cut out the right size square, made all the pretty curves, cut the elastic, and it was finally time to put together the pieces together.

Have a selfie of me wearing the to-be skirt as a poncho.

This is when my inherent lack of sewing knowledge showed. I got my mom to show me how to use her sewing machine. I learned all of it relatively quickly. So I sewed the elastic into a circle, which wasn't hard. Then came the edge. I didn't know it's a good idea to roll the edge twice when you seam it, so the inside has all the little fraying ends sticking out. Oops. My mom pointed this out and I said, "Oh, I'll fix it with some ribbon!" Apparently that's okay because my mom didn't correct me. I still think it's right. 

So after that, I sew the elastic onto the waist band. Here's where I screw up big time. First, after realizing that there was more fabric than elastic, and totally forgetting elastic needs to stretch (that's kind of its job, ya know?) I sewed the extra fabric over itself. It didn't stretch. At all. And so I freaked out and my mom fixed it by taking everything out and telling me, "Stretch the elastic while you sew it together!"

I did that, but I also did that slightly wrong too. If anyone ever gets close enough to the skirt, they'll see there's a lot of ruffles at one point and then none at all as I realize that I stretched the elastic too much at some points and had too much elastic left over at the end. So the elastic is folded over itself. Oops again.

So my skirt's all lovely, and I went out to get some ribbon for the bottom. I decided to wing it- BAD MOVE. I bought one spool of ribbon and called that good, and then when I went to attach it later, it ran out. I got really confused. "It definitely said 3 yards! I need to go get more! Stupid Michael's for not updating how long it is after people use it," I say to myself. Needless to say, I am 100% clueless when it comes to buying anything that isn't yarn in stores. Especially at Michael's, which I don't go to all that often. I'm a JoAnn's girl, and even then I don't get anything but yarn. 

EMERGENCY!

I got another spool, the last one left, and started attaching that... and that ran out. So I'm sitting there with approximately 2/3rds of the skirt all ribboned and 1/3 with no ribbon at all. I complain to my mom and she asks to see the spool, but I go to double-check when she goes to the bathroom. I read the spool...

And it says 3 feet, not 3 yards like I thought. And I sat there for about 30 seconds before yelling, "I'm so stupid!" I explain to my mom my reading comprehension and potential solutions, and she says, "Wait before ripping out all the ribbon. There may be a solution."

Hopefully there is, because that skirt is sitting there taunting me with its incompleteness. 

I have a sad face.

Luckily, the second one went much smoother. Although I still kinda screwed up on the bottom hem. Oops.There are certain points where it turns up because there's too much fabric in those sections compared to others. Overall, though, it's pretty. I did so much better sewing the elastic to this one, though. I remembered to stretch it out and everything! And it came out so much prettier.

Modeling the plaid skirt.

Heeeeelloooooo my friend.

I must admit, taking the tutorial word for word is not a good idea. For example, it didn't tell me to stretch the elastic in order to get the skirt to fit. The maker probably assumed people with a basic idea of how elastic stuff works and the basics of sewing were using it. I fit neither of those. OH WELL. 

But I'm looking forward to being able to wear these skirts over my dance shorts in the summer or over tights in the fall/winter because these are cute as all get out and I am going to wear them with confidence. Also because it looks like no one can ever go wrong with skirts over tights.