Innovations Roadmap #6

Self

(Noun, plural selves, adjective, pronoun, plural selves, verb)

noun

1. a person or thing referred to with respect to complete individuality

2. a person’s nature, character, etc.

3. personal interests.

4. Philosophy

     a. the ego; that which knows, remembers, desires, suffers, etc., as contrasted with      that known, remembered, etc.

     b. the uniting principle, as a soul, underlying all subjective experience

Topic: Know thyself!

This topic is a little broad, I think, but how hard can it be to talk about myself? The simple answer to that: it’s hard. I hold a different view of myself than other people, and I know what I think of myself most of the time is a result of my low self-esteem. But recently, I’ve had so many experiences recently where people are telling how great or nice or funny I am. There’s that concept of because the majority saying it, it must be true. Not to say that I let my mind be easily influenced! However, with people who don’t talk to me all that often and people who live with me, it has weight.

This is about what I think of myself, though. Not what others think of me. My low self-esteem results in calling myself a horrible person, that I’m lazy, uninspired, unintelligent (the word ‘smart’ actually makes me cringe a little, which I’ll explain later), uncreative, and bland. My opinion of myself is vastly different than what others think of me. During my good days- there are plenty of good days- I know I am the person everyone says I am. I am sweet and caring. I value others’ opinions. I try to help as best as I can to those I know, then those I don’t. I am a hard worker. Some of my roommates tell me they wish they were like me because of how diligent I am with homework. I don’t put things off, and they find it admirable. When I am given responsibility, I’ll see it through, and it I can’t, I find ways to make it up.

For a class, I took a Strengths Finder 2.0 quiz. It’s from Tom Rath, and the point of the quiz is to find what makes someone a good leader and help them develop those traits into a force, instead of focusing solely on lacking traits. I think this is a very good strategy, because in areas you are lacking, someone else can fill in. My ‘Top 5’ were Intellection, Learner, Context, Empathy, and Responsibility. With Context, I use past actions (‘blueprints,’ if you will) to make my decisions. The past gives something to build off of, and it’s a nice way to see what may have gone wrong and how to fix it. Empathy is easy to understand. Intellection is thinking. I must be able to think, contemplate, and solve a problem in solitude a majority of the time. Learner means I have a thirst for knowledge. I will always be willing learn more about a subject. Responsibility is something I explained earlier. I will commit to a project and will find a way to make it up to the person. The Strengths Finder quiz is accurate in many cases about me. Those five traits together sound like a ‘passive leader,’ which I’m perfectly okay being. I haven’t yet developed the confidence to stand in front, but I am learning. I will always be learning.

Probably for some more superficial things: I love to knit and crochet. It’s extremely soothing for me. The fact I can look at something and think I created thathas helped boost my self-esteem a few times. I like to bake and cook. I find it really hard to be angry while baking, because I’m of the belief that my mindset will affect how the food tastes. Food isn’t an exact science. There’s the freedom to experiment with it, and emotional state can affect the way you experiment. I love to write. I’m a writer and I like to plan my stories. I don’t put any strict boundaries on my stories until it’s well into the middle. The reason why may be because I like to let my mind amok for a little bit before I rein it in and start setting important details to stone. There’s nothing wrong with a little trial and error. If something doesn’t come out right the first time, find a way to adjust. Reading is a passion of mine from which writing extends. There’s a certain trait in books that makes getting lost in a new world, sympathizing with new characters, and becoming emotionally involved enchanting. It’s something I’ve experienced since childhood.

If I know anything, it is this: that I will always treasure reading as what makes me, me. From books, my whole self grows. Cook books, how-to-knit/crochet books, dictionaries, thesauruses, fantasy stories, fiction stories. Those are some of the few books I like to delve into and get lost in. I want to be like a character, I want to make those delicious food items I see in cookbooks, I want to make those beautiful yarn items, I want to write my own book. Everything about me is related in some way to the written word. Books are the most important foundation of my life.